Friday, June 28, 2013

WEDDING SERIES: When you know it's RIGHT

When I was having a meeting with one of our wedding supplier and he was asking me questions about us, one of his question was "how long were you together?" so I answered him directly without any hesitation. I think he wasn't expecting my answer. He was absolutely surprised well, most of our suppliers do, but I have a simple answer to them when they I ask me if I'm sure with my decision.. my answer is
"I know it's the right thing because I am happy"
Well how will a person know when it is the right time for him/her to settle down?
Some people say when you met someone, or if you are financially stable or if you're on the right age or if you're mature enough But how will you really know? or let just say what if you met someone but you're financially unstable or if you're still young and immature? Do you need to perfect all the criteria before jumping into marriage life?
I am 27 years old.. some say i'm still young.. some say i'm on the right age.. my opinion.. im happy.  Am i financially stable?, I can buy things I want, I have savings and I have a stable job. Am I mature enough? I decide for my own and i face every consequences of my decisions pretty well either good or bad. It is a continuous learning.
Now why we decided to tie the knot?
It wasn't like we love each other so much so let's get married. Loving someone so much wasn't enough reason at all, If it is.. then there shouldn't be growth of annulment and divorce rate. Christian and I love each other so much but it will never work out just by loving each other first thing, we differ in so many ways: in attitude,in point of views, in likes, favorites but we learn to enjoy each differences that we have and we accepted it however we worked it out it wasn't like a day and everything was fine... NO, it took us years to worked it out. Most especially my being organized in the house. He accepted that never will I give up on being organized and be messy like a man so he did some adjustments by keeping the house tidy as much as possible. So am I, I understand that he will never ever be like me. When it comes to his favor the only thing I can't break was his love with volleyball and hobbies, He already justified that he needs an outlet after a stressful week + he truly enjoys it. So instead of arguing with him because im a home buddy and never hugged sports in my life.. ever.. I just support him on his games until I realized that he enjoys it so much so why I kept on stopping him. There's a lot of things we argue about and we worked out and this will be a very long blog if I will go to details so let's just leave it like that. We survived because we ACCEPT each other and we RESPECT each other. 
ACCEPTANCE is the key to less argument..I say... based on my own experience not understanding.Understanding is just like for recent situation, It was like okay i understand but tomorrow will you? but once you accept it, it will be permanent because you already understood the situation in every way you can and you accepted it. It was like an end effect to understanding. Both of us had past, positive and negative, just before our lives crossed so we accept that as well and our own families of course.
RESPECT I say "the most" important formula in a relationship or in every relationship. It is very hard for me to define respect but we apply it in ways not to hurt each other like choosing your words correctly. People when angry tend to throw words that are completely inappropriate that cause your partner to feel bad about him/herself. Always remember that words come out quickly and can be hard to take back. If you think you're wrong then why not accept it. If he/she made his/her point and you realized you're wrong then no need to prolong the argument.. just apologize. Honor each boundaries is what we always...always.. forget. but as days goes by we eventually learn to accept each others boundaries. We both learn to accept and understand personal boundaries like we're not crossing each other's line or we're not abusing each others lenient way of giving some "me time". We have rules and limitations and we respect it.
These factors what brought us to our decision. We love each other that we accept each other and respect each other and we are happy together and we know that no matter what happen , whatever comes that we can face it and work it out like what we did. No matter how long you were together even a year or two or 10 years it doesn't matter as long as those factors are present. You will know when it is right when you can see your future with him that no matter what, you will be willing to do everything for him/her so your relationship will work out and of course make sure that your partner feels the same way too.

*Post from My Wedding website I made for our wedding.

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